New Name Needed, Apply Within

It’s not that another tax season just ended, reminding me of my powerlessness against the entitlement programs I fund but will never benefit from.
It’s not that Pedro got lit last night like Ted Kennedy on fire in a room full of flashbulbs.
No, it’s even more sinister than that. It’s what’s falling outside my office window this very moment:

And to the guy I just heard say “At least it’s not sticking”: Shut up. Shut the cow up.
UPDATE: Oh sweet holy God of all that is decent, the Sun has swept clean the sky and is shining warm love upon the face of the island. Um, ignore that other stuff, please.