Political Science
June 23rd, 2004
If I had been a framer of the Consitution of the United States of America, I think I would have added something to Article II, Section 3, where certain responsibilities of the President are enunciated, requiring that the President spend at least two hours a day solving complicated mathematical equations, and the Vice President is not allowed to help, so there would be no point in asking someone like John Nash or Norbert Wiener to be one’s running mate, unless they had really good ideas about enforcing the Sarbanes-Oxley Act or something like that. I think this would have stopped that whole Clinton-Lewinsky thing in its infancy, because the ladies aren’t hot for math nerds.
Categories: Politics
(A) The word is “enumerated.”
(B) Where would the free world be today if every Soviet leader had the option of responding to the President of the United States by rolling his eyes and saying, “Whatever you say, Poindexter…”
I just don’t think there’s anything so wrong with the Prez getting a little on the side. He’s the the leader of the free world, for God’s sake — doesn’t that come with any perks? Why not be the Number One Pimp if you’re in a position to do it…
Now, Bubba’s taste in women, that part was a little shameful. But generally speaking, if the president strolled into an important summit with a couple models hanging off him, what Soviet leader wouldn’t have been forced to say “Damn, you’re the man.”
I am very happy that Mr. President Clinton was able to enjoy some orgasms during his administration. I also am happy that the words “Oval Office” look a lot like “Oral Orifice,” which is kinda funny since his orgasms were brought about by an oral orifice in the Oval Office, and that is why I think I should write for Cracked magazine, because I can spot zany wordplay like that.