New Name Needed, Apply Within

Call me a political tyro if you must, but I bet if you could get all the Israelis and Palestinians into the same room with a copy of Gigli playing on a large projection screen, they’d forget about all this Gaza Strip nonsense and instead start arguing over whether Ben made J-Lo break off the engagement or vice-versa.
And then while they’re distracted, we could all sneak into Jerusalem and steal the secret pornography stash they’ve been fighting over for the last 3,000 years.

“Usually, when a man quits writing in his journal, it is either because things are happening to him that he doesn’t want to commit to paper or because he has lost interest in life. I don’t know which of these reasons applies in my case, but I rather think neither does.”
        E. B. White, One Man’s Meat