Aborted Posts From 2007 That Probably Should Have Stayed That Way
December 4th, 2007
REAL ESTATE
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Honestly, look around for something a little more structurally sound. And the smell, my God.
ON ZOMBIES
Q: What’s the difference between a sunset and a zombie?
A: One makes the “sun red”, the other is a reanimated corpse that feasts on the brains of the living.
ON THE DEATH OF QUIET RIOT SINGER KEVIN DUBROW
Hang your head
Metal health has made him dead
AN ENCOURAGING CHEER TO SHOUT DURING YOUR SIX-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER’S FIRST SWIM MEET
Float! Float! Float! Float!
LYRICS FROM MICHAEL JACKSON’S “THRILLER” THAT WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PAID A LITTLE MORE ATTENTION TO WHEN WE WERE PRE-PUBESCENT
- You hear the door slam and realize theres nowhere left to run
- You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
- Awesome Eddie Van Halen guitar solo
- Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
WORST THING ABOUT THE “JIMMY SWAGGART CONVENTION FOR RESTORING AMERICAN CHRISTIAN VALUES TO A GODLESS SOCIETY,” FEATURING GUEST APPEARANCES BY CELINE DION AND KENNY G, AND HELD IN A TIN SHACK NEAR A MINEFIELD IN KIGALI, RWANDA
Cash bar
THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING I SAID ABOUT THE DECEMBER 3, 2007 SNOWSTORM TO MY PARENTS
“I haven’t seen that many inches in a long time.”
Categories: Uncategorized
11 months, 3 days of 2007 under the bridge and the sum total of all of your unworthy ideas can be summed up in 7 Q&A-style bullet points? Boo!
Good sir, that just shows that the other three billion ideas I’ve had in that timespan are good and worthy ones.