Certain Things I Said Today About Living In Maine That A Friend Indicated I Should Slap Up Yet I Feel Reluctant About Doing So
January 14th, 2008
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ON DINNER
“This place is great! Let’s eat some sort of mollusk or crustacean again!”
ON DATING
“Saw old Millie Beals again down at the gas station. She was buying her weekly ration of Riunite and Pabst. For a 50-year-old woman, she looks like a fantastic 90-year-old. I threw it in her anyway, of course.”
ON SURVIVAL
“The water’s out again. I drank my own urine to stay alive because the ground is too frozen to dig a new well.”
ON WILDLIFE
“The goddammed deer are back again. The same doe I shot at with my thirty ought-six last week keeps nosing around the compost bin, even though there hasn’t been anything edible in there for years. I threw it in her anyway, of course.”
Categories: Maine