New Name Needed, Apply Within

Something about Michelle Obama has been bugging me ever since the first time I saw her on television — some tiny nagging visceral itch at the back of my brainstem. A few minutes ago, I finally realized what it was.
Skin and hair color aside, Michelle is a nearly a dead ringer for Reese Witherspoon.

It goes without saying that they’re a much more attractive pair than the last politically relevant fraternal twins I discovered.

If “Barack Obama is your new bicycle,” Joe Biden is the old cracked helmet you have to wear because your mom is too cheap to buy a new one.

Who thinks I should start writing on this thing again?