I’ve put duct tape on the heating controls in my car, leaving it more or less permanently stuck on “cold”. It’s a symbolic gesture, annoucing my acceptance of Spring in fact if not in meteorological deed. It’ll probably affect the resale value a bit, but I’m no slave to the little blue book.
It was 46 degrees and sunny during my lunch break, perfect weather for the start of my new project, 120 Miles. This is not a film about an unlikely rap hero that makes it big, and is certainly not 15 times as long as Eminem’s flick. It’s a project close to home, something I thought about doing last year before I found myself in the death throes of monkeypox.
“Another project,” the jilted masses say derisively. Yeah, I know my track record is none too great. But this one’s already started, and there’s photographic evidence atop this post.
Like you may have noticed, there’s a few small changes happening on this humble Site du Web. The sidebar links are being renovated, a new title is being sought, I’m trying to have at least one thing a day to say. Plus, I’m determined to find a way to post pie regularly. New technology, the pie posting.
But there are promises from posts past that need addressing as well. I’ve made allusions to: a song involving man-sandwich love; T-shirts; local celebrity stalking. If there are things I’ve forgotten, please deposit a reminder in the comments. These things will be brought to finality by the end of springtime.
But there’s a lot more to talk about, including: boats, the German language, woodworking, bird chiles, home recording, microscapic travel. Yeah, microscapic. It’s a new word that means something to me, and I hope I’ll be able to demonstrably define to you.
God, I really feel like I’ve been asleep for four months.
This blog’s Official April Fools Day policy is to post no tricks, pranks, hijinks, capers, hoaxes.
In the spirit of the day, however, we proudly bring you this photo of John Kerry attempting to win over a plebian or two by nibbling on an oversized sandwich.
Actually, this is just a test post for Kinja, the spiffy new weblog aggregator from the people who brought you Gawker and Wonkette
God, I wish this Movable Type thing came with a crankinessalyzer.
I wrote something yesterday as an explanation for laziness. Reading it again this morning, the post made me sound like some dottering 70-year-old shooing the neighbors kids out of my driveway.
I rationalized my lack of posting as evidence of not wanting to write uninteresting things. I might as well have gone to the local stonecutter, asked for the highest pedestal they sold, asked to have three of them stacked atop one another, then had a tower crane mount me upon them all as I held a giant neon sign that shined “MOST INTERESTING PERSON EVER” into the air over my head.
There is a moral to this. It’s okay to suck, but it sucks to defend your suckiness.
So I checked the calendar this morning and found out that it’s been 2004 for three weeks! How the hell did that happen? Can I blame the Democrats?
It’s been three weeks of coping with millions of teeny little problems, which have banded up and presented themselves as a single object of pain, like a Portuguese man o’ war. There was also a week of playing the Deadline Dance, refereed by an editor who should be nominated for the Nobel Patience Prize as a result. And the last three days I’ve been playing host to the meanest goddammed rhinovirus on the planet.
There has been some good, though. I’ve discovered the secret of getting people to say nice things about you: say something nice about someone else first! After dropping a nice review on the new CD from Ken Layne and the Corvids, fuzzy rays of happy warm puppy rainbows flowed throughout the Internet. Now, Layne himself is calling me a gentleman (fightin’ words, you!). And I’ve even been Instapunk’d by the Professor, who calls me the greatest thing to happen to musical criticism since Lester Bangs was crushed in an industrial sheet metal press.
Wait, he didn’t say that. Must be the cough syrup talking again.
Monday’s looking good, real good. See you then.
Hi everybody. Lots to post today, catching you all up with the whirlwind of activity over the past months. This early, non-informative post serves only to get the RSS feed hopping, so that the nerds with aggregators can feel the buzz of activity. What ho, Jeeves! Let us begin!
Today was 55 and sunny, which led to a late start and a long lunch and, well, a lot of things being put off. The weather was my last meal before being led to the gallows pole of winter, as the permanent descent into colder temperatures is forecast to begin tomorrow. Bad for my happiness, but good for my devoted audience.
While you’re waiting for the dark touch of Thursday to blot out my joy, why not visit Dan and Fikrad for some fine Internet yuks? Tell them I sent you, and each will send you a money-saving coupon for use at most grocery stores in the continental United States.
The weather has turned inexorably toward the crappy. The sun sets shortly after lunchtime. The ice weasels sharpen their fangs in preparation for feasting.
These all mean but one thing: more time for the weblog! Rise and cheer, O Internet Throngs, to celebrate my return.
Fikrad IM’ed me earlier. She informed me that gin was on the dinner menu, and it would be served dirty (i.e. with a smattering of olive juice).
A dirty martini. Specifically, a dirrrrrrrrty martini. Hey, I’ve got the perfect new name for this drink.
The Xtini
What’s the best we can say?
“At least they didn’t choke as badly as the A’s and the Cubs.”
Some condolence.
Wait ’til next year. Again.
Well at least I’ve been conditioned to this sort of thing for a good twenty-five years now. And so winter begins, months earlier than expected.