I just heard on a radio show that the proper plural form of “loon” is “loon.” Just like “shrimp” and “deer,” the singular and plural are identical. Isn’t that neat? Here, I’ll use it in a sentence:
The nine Democratic Presidential hopefuls are a bunch of loon.
Actually, I think “shrimp” works just as well there.
Today’s Boondocks strip keeps the words-to-ink ratio plenty low while positing post-war reconstruction:
Well, the American way of life is coming to Iraq. And you know what that means…
“Iraqi Girls Gone Wild?”
And I say “Amen.” What’s wrong with a little D-Cup D-Mocracy?
I wrote this in the comments area of my grumpy post below, but it’s long and explains things a little bit further, with the perfect amount of The Rambling Factor that you’ve come to expect from this site:
John (in the comments of my grumpy post) is right, of course: “it’s sad that everyone [at the protests] gets lumped with the folks holding the most hideous [signs],” a sin of which I’m ostensibly guilty in this post.
The post grew out of an email I’d sent to Greg (comment #1 in the thread) about how much today’s lunatic lefty fringe resembled the lunatic righty fringe of the Clinton era — shrilly latching on to any conspiracy theory out of zealotry that seemed medieval; “Clinton murdered Vince Foster!” and “Bush Was Behind 9/11!” are two sides of the same tinfoil hat. I used to make fun of the Gingrich crowd with the same fervor that I apply to a guy stepping out of a BMW with a “No War for Oil” sign he’s bringing to a local protest. Apparently the Germans have found a way to make cars run on happy thoughts and warm feelings, which is a hell of an accomplishment when you think what most Germans are like.
But something about the signs imploring US troops to shoot their officers is genuinely evil to me, and tripped my circuit breaker. My dad once commanded the 1st Brigade of the 3rd Infantry Division, one of the front-line units currently in Iraq. If this war happened fifteen years ago, a lot of those marchers would be celebrating a disgruntled sergeant rolling a couple of frag grenades into my dad’s tent. But the two people holding that sign were at the very least showing their true colors, displaying their true political philosophies — poisoned though I think they are.
I believe that most of the people at the rallies have a vague feeling that they should be against the war for some reasons of morality, but aren’t clear what those reasons exactly are. I don’t think they’re attending the protests to be brainwashed by the organizers (the Workers’ World Party, et. al.) into soldiers for anarcho-Communism (does such a thing exist? it should, it’s a neat term). But there seems to be a clear level of misrepresentation, both by normal citizens attending these things (“Hey, there were a thousand people against the war there!”) and by the organizers (“Hey, we’ve got a thousand new people fighting for Socialist overthrow!”). I guess that’s what I was clumsily trying to address in this post, even though I ended up sounding like someone’s great-grandfather shooing some skateboarding kids out of his driveway.
Something that is genuinely disturbing to me, though, is the amazing depth of visceral hatred that has been projected toward this President and his predecessor. I never bought into the Impeach Clinton movement, and I certainly don’t abide the Impeach Bush jones that the protesters are raging on today. I used to think that was the predominant political attitude in the country. But Christ, there are so many people that can’t hold a conversation about either of them without devolving into sputters of rage, like personal wrong has been visited upon them from 1600 Pennsylvania. Some might say that it’s comeuppance to the Republicans for the way they treated Clinton, but I remember similar bile for Bush the 41st and Reagan. Only it seems louder and more vicious lately. And much more unreasonable.
But what do I know. I live on a rock off the coast of Maine.
Boy, do I sound cranky in the post below. It’s been a hard winter, and the children are keeping me from sleeping well. The accompanying stress has turned me into an 87-year-old grizzled fisherman.
Kids, do what you want. You’re young and impressionable, and so darned cute. This old man just wants a sunny day and a warm bowl of porridge.
Remember, these are the same people from which leftist nutjobs think the United States should ask permission before acting against Iraq.
I’m sure the Cameroonians (Camerooners? Cameroon-o-ramas?) are sweet people, but might this be a sign that this country doesn’t need foreign policy advice from every other nation on the planet?’
And while urine may be rather foul, I’d rather drink it than whatever Kool-Aid Jacque Chirac and Gerhard Schröder have been sipping lately.
I’ve scooped the Weekly World News! Michaelgenrich.com has discovered a shameful chapter in political strategist James Carville’s past: The Secret Brother He Never Loved!
Holy cow, and I thought I had a problem with mixed metaphors:
“We’ll say we’ve received the ball and are studying the ball and will continue to study the ball and that we’ll pass the ball to experts because we’ve never quite seen a ball like this before.”
— a U.N. Security Council diplomat speaking on condition of anonymity about North Korea’s failure to comply with its disarmament obligations, quoted in an MSNBC report.
From James Taranto’s Best of the Web Today
Lyrics that come to mind when I see this photo:
I laid a divorcee in New York City I had to put up some kind of a fight The lady then she covered me with roses She blew my nose and then she blew my mind - Honky-Tonk Women
When I'm ridin' round the world and I'm doin' this and I'm signing that and I'm tryin' to make some girl who tells me baby better come back later next week 'cause you see I'm on losing streak - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste Use all your well-learned politesse Or I'll lay your soul to waste - Sympathy for the Devil
And also one that must put the Democrat Party into fits:
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Ed. note: Tony Pierce has been doing this sort of thing for years.
Every year, some respectable friends of mine throw a lavish Christmas party in suburban Boston. One of the highlights is the annual Yankee Swap, where inappropriate gag gifts wind up in the hands of those who covet them least. My take this year was a calendar of quotes from the President, which seems to have been a big seller over the holidays.
The calendar, billed as “the very curious language of George W. Bush,” is supposed to help the owner feel smug and superior while reading verbal gaffes from a guy who admittedly is not a very good public speaker. Curiously, however, the quotes they’ve chosen almost always make me more sympathetic towards the guy. For example, here is today’s entry:
“We ought to make the pie higher.”
The calendar’s creators apparently want us all to think the following: “Higher? He should have said bigger! Ha ha! What a dumb monkey the President is!”
Well guess what, cheese: higher is bigger. Ever been to Pizzeria Uno? They don’t increase the diameter of their pizza pie to make it bigger — they make it a deeper and therefore higher pie. A higher Yao Ming is a bigger basketball player than Allen Iverson. A higher Sears Tower is a bigger building than a one-story schoolhouse. And a higher Bill Clinton is….oh, I’m sorry, he never inhaled, right?
So if the President wants to make a higher pie, resulting in everyone’s individual piece being higher as well, he’s more than welcome to do it. Just don’t change the recipe to require a few more tablespoons of my tax dollars.
Breaking news out of North Carolina: N.C. Plant Explosion Injures 11 People:
KINSTON, N.C. — An explosion and fire rocked a pharmaceutical company’s factory Wednesday afternoon, leaving the building a shattered ruin as flames and black smoke poured out.
Former President Clinton swears that he thought it was a chemical weapons plant.
