New Name Needed, Apply Within

   cowboys loss deprives
of gisele-simpson catfight
     boners sadly fade

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7. A Buttload

I am in a fantasy baseball league, which is a very fun thing to do if you like both baseball and the act of fantasizing. But I really wish someone would expand the scope of fantasy baseball to other baseball-related activities, maybe something like Fantasy Concessions Operation, because I tell you what, I bet no one can pretend to sell roasted peanuts like I can.

I think the reason that dog racing is not as popular as NASCAR racing is that it’s really hard to stick a Dodge-360 CID small block V8 into a greyhound without adversely affecting the greyhound’s performance.

So there’s lots of talk about the Tampa Bay Devil Rays’ 11-game winning streak, which is newsworthy because the team has always been pretty bad since they formed six years ago, when they had Wade Boggs who used to play for the Red Sox but had to move away from Boston because he had lots of sex with someone named Margo, which is like totally understandable. But I think an even better story would be about a Little League baseball team that has never ever won a game by scoring more runs than their opponent, which is how baseball games are won, but instead has a coach that says “no matter what the score is, I think you’re all winners,” and how that team had a twenty-five-game streak of being winners and was already the #1 seed in the playoffs of the Going Out For Ice Cream After The Game Championship.