I bet more young Americans would pick up yodeling as a hobby if people in the Alps would meet them halfway and start yodeling about text messaging and crunk juice.
I imagine the best part about being bisexual is not that you enlarge your potential dating pool to include everyone over the age of consent in liberated societies, but that you qualify for a free hat and large soda whenever your local minor league baseball team has Bisexual Hat Night.
If the chemists of the world really want to become all-star sex symbols and have movies and books written about their glamorous lives, then I say it’s time to drop all this “ribulosebisphosphatecarboxylaseoxygenase” and “2,1,5,6-quadrichlorine-1,3-phenyldiacarbonitrile” nonsense when it comes to naming what you make. Why not call your next industrial solvent “The Sweaty Norwegian,” or let agricultural pests know they’ve got a fresh batch of “Powdered Windshield” coming at them? Without a slew of catchy names that women can still pronounce when drunk, there is no Cocktail.
Although, now that I think about it, there probably isn’t a Cocktail without a large group of studio executives snorting some 2,1,5,6-quadrichlorine-1,3-phenyldiacarbonitrile before greenlighting a project with lines like “Anything else is always something better.” So thanks a lot, chemists.
When the Restaurant Wars finally come, pitting cuisine against cuisine in epicureal combat, I hope you’ve prepared yourself to live with the winner. Some people think that a superior officer corps will win the day, and have placed their bets with the Generals Tso, Zso, and Gau of the Chinese — or on the Colonel of the Kentucky Fried division. Others feel the Burger Armies will prevail, with the Burger King issuing forth decrees from his White Castle. Some believe naval power will make the difference, and have cast their fortunes behind the pirate hordes of Long John Silver and the various regional Captains that dominate regional fast-fried seafood.
But they’re all tragically, inexorably wrong. The true winner will be the little canteen here on the campus where I work, especially if the battlefield is my large intestine.
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Instapundit writes about the new Phillips HeartStart:
THE PHILLIPS “HEARTSTART” Automated Home Defibrillator: When I see stuff like this, I know I’m living in the 21st Century. There’s even video of it in action….
The secret of attracting traffic to your website? Don’t update it for a while, then hope that political events produce a demand that only your neglected Internet presence can provide!
Thanks to the expected addition of James Carville to the Kerry/Edwards catastrophe campaign team, the right-wing troublemakers at Free Republic and other discussion forums brought over 2,000 hits yesterday to this entry. They’re only posting the image, of course, not headlining their message with “Michael Genrich is the most striking political satirist of our time, and this picture proves it!” Which, by the way, I really don’t think is too much to ask them to do.
Note to the Kerry campaign: bringing Carville and Begala onboard at this stage of the campaign will be about as helpful as ordering another pitcher of Pabst Blue Ribbon after you’ve already retched the last three into the bushes. It reeks of bad judgement and bad taste.
